Friday, May 30, 2008

The Shit Happening

Why won't M. Night Shyamalan stop!? I liked Sixth Sense, I loved Unbreakable (which is the preferred stance on anybody who claims they like film..thats what you have to say about M. Night Shyamalan), I liked parts of Signs and I could say the same things about the village...like the idea was cool. I would like to live in the woods pretending it was a different century ..yea cool idea I get it...have you ever heard of a short film? be revolutionary make a collection of short films put them together and save us from these shitty summer releases that come out every other year...or also HIRE A FUCKING DIFFERENT WRITER....oh and I do not know what to think of The Lady in the Water...is it complete shit or is it a literal practical joke that went on way to long...did you show up everyday on set thinking like oh my god they are STILL letting me do this...Oh okay...Well you see there will be a film reviewer that nobody like....NEXT day o okay so a giant Eagle will come out of the sky and take her away..THE END!!!!....like i get it you have ideas that don't really pan out so you fill the movie with somewhat artistic shots like reflections from the TV and static close ups..cool I dig it..SOMETIMES, but give it a rest.

And now you have this new one where something is happening and people don't know what it is and its causing people to kill themselves and act unlike humans...and its kind of like the birds and invasion of the body snatchers where we won't really know why these things are happening....and then the movie ends....I'm all about post modern techniques WHEN THEY WERE POST MODERN....motherfucker we have things like lost now that have and hopefully will explain the random shit that is going on...so all I am saying is this movie better deliver! and i am giving you some credit on this one...A. It's rated R. Which is so awkward cause when you see the trailer on TV you see this gigantic red R because it is the first of your movies to be rated as such, like what do the companies think that people are going to be like "Kids it's June of an even numbered year grab your things and lets go see the new M. Night before the commercial ends and before I have to see anything else...and in actuality that's what people should do to your movies...walk out before the end...cause the first 45 minutes are good...then..not so much....
Which brings me to B. I am also giving you some credit for this movie cause that guy who lays down in front of that huge lawn mower in the commercial looks really cool and i better see his fucking body get mangled in a static close up. ....I told myself I would never write a blog about M. Night Shyamalan cause it is so trite to be mad at you....but its a Thursday night and I'm not drunk so fuck you...twists only work when you don't expect them!!!It's like people are going to the theatres to watch old episodes of Scooby doo...once you hear the old western town amusement park is next to a guys ranch who owns the deed....YOU WALK OUT OF THAT MOVIE!...do a fucking documentary or a comedy or something!..

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