Wednesday, February 4, 2009

There are no Chinese people in Prison

....Well maybe in China.

I was eavesdropping on some delightful inmates today, and they were talking about the struggles with their cellmates. It was hilarious because they were all complaining about how their cellmates like you did with your freshman year roommate. "He eats my food, He always gets up in the middle of the night, he always leaves his shit around."

It got me thinking how similar prison is to college. Now I'm not gonna go on some Dave Barry-esque journal entry comparing them and ending in a hilarious pun or some shit. It's just an institution that you have to deal with and once you get through all the bullshit, you just focus on the good stuff and try to have fun!

and I know what you are all thinking, "Oh what's good, the anal rape?" OH MAN YOU ARE SO ORIGINAL, I HAVE NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT ANAL RAPE WHEN SOMEONE BRINGS UP PRISON!!! You fucking unoriginal sheltered white idiots, That shit doesn't even happen in prison as much as your elitist HBO series would like you to think!...

and I've had that belief since I read an article in Vice magazine about prison and it was about how there is no rape ever, and also since I was 16 that old joke, well, Got old and I've been trying to think outside of the box (bun) since then, so now I hate when I bring up my job and everybody thinks they are a regular Billy Crystal when they ask me about rape!

Prison, especially where I am is boring! I'm sure not as boring as a regular office job or something, but its a giant systematic institution that most of the guys have been trapped in since the 80's so the whole (hole) rape thing or anything that might be interesting is so passe, and all they do is talk about current events, politics, the weather, and rolling cigarettes.

To them something exciting is watching "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" and talking about last nights NOVA!!

In that sense it is totally college, you have some people (black) who are there to "have fun" AKA gain street cred and act all tough and then there are people (black...not chinese) who understand to take advantage of the time and get as much education as possible.

I was going to talk about how prison is college for black people,(but I didn't feel like creating this whole racist metaphor or whatever) cause its like the college experience most of them never had or could afford and they go through similar stuff we did (especially, finally getting out and being unemployable, cause you made a horrible mistake, in their case Murder, in my case College).

but these guys and/or the society they grew up in do not put enough emphasis on education and they do not realize they need it until they are in their 30' prison is the best thing for them....but the young guys still think they are tough and know everything and view a five year sentence as a way to gain street cred and be cooler on the street. I blame rap music and that youtube!

Okay sorry, You didn't want to hear a passage from a Bill Cosby book....but whatever....I didn't want to be this big thing...those were just on the tips of my brain

Also I said "cooler" when referring to their street cred....I'm so white and out of touch.....

Also another thing I was thinking about at work was why do they not call Semen..."Wood Glue"....that would be hilarious!


Kyle said...

Umm, just for the record, when you make jokes about black people, i.e. leaning towards making a comment about how prison is college for black people...that is racist, you maniac...crazy, crazy racist...further, just because you went to high school with black people does not make it okay for you to say things like this...I know they're just WORDS...but Jesus, get some self control.

Christian said...

Wow kyle you're a square!

Christian said...

Maybe I should have said prison is like college for THESE Black people...or just these's just easier to call them black cause they call all the teachers white people and I can't call them african american cause a lot of them are from jamaica and several Islands....WHY THE FUCK AM I EXPLAINING THIS TO YOU!!! I WAS TRYING TO BE FUNNY THROUGH BEING IGNORANT !!!! SORRY MY BLOG DOESN'T FOLLOW A SPECIFIC THEME LIKE YOURS....WAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH I DON'T HAVE A JOB, WAAAAAAAAAAAHAHHHHHH!!!! YOU'LL REGRET THIS TIME, YOU PRIVILEGED FUCK!!!!..............Yeah and when we see each other face to face, I'll pretend I never typed this !!! YOU FAGGOT!!!

Kyle said...

Leave it in the blogosphere brody. And sorry I'm the voice of the voiceless...I didn't ask for this, okay?

Kyle said...

Oh and let me just add:

I'm a privileged boy,
It's great, I gotta tell ya.
Privileged boy,
My dad can buy and sell ya.
It really doesn't matter,
That you're on the list in front of me.
I'm gonna get your table,
'Cause I always tip the maitre d'.
And then I'll go to Yale,
Because I am a legacy,
I'm better than you.