Monday, February 9, 2009

Want to help New Jersey's economy.....

Fire ME!!!

State jobs are outrageous, they are do nothing, clock in clock out jobs!

The first day I started working there my co-worker told me that the hardest part of the job was showing up. I laughed it off thinking it was some small talk bullshit, and it was, but it is also the truest thing a co-worker has ever said to me, except one of the 4th graders at C.A.R.E who told me I looked like a girl and needed to buy a belt.

But week after week, I do nothing! I come in to work wait around fro the inmates to come up to the school building, take attendance, log some people into a computer, double click some icons for inmates who are still practicing the rapid movement you need in your pointer finger to perform a very difficult double click.

Seriously, if you have ever watched somebody who has never double clicked in their lives try to, it seems almost impossible and you start thinking, "how am I able to do that? I couldn't possibly move my finger that fast! They are trying their hardest and they can't do it!" and then you sit at a computer and your muscle memory kicks in and you're a regular Bill "Double Click" Gates! that's what they used to call him in the seventies, and that lead to the invention of the double click (citation needed).

and then I do that for three periods each lasting 40 minutes and then I go to lunch then I come back and relax and read or wander into the "break room" and watch either of the three "Who wants to be a millionaire?", "The Tavis Smiley show" or "Charlie Rose."

Then I start turning off computers and get ready to leave by 2:30-2:45. and that is it!

That is a normal day. Some days, the inmates get laid in and they are not allowed to come to school so all the teachers sit in their rooms watching tv/movies/playing computer games until it is time to leave. Some days I'll get an assignment that my boss says I can take a week to do, and since my expert double clicking and typing skills ( I use the home row method, SUCKAS!) I get this week long project in under 2 hours. and these assignment are meaningless and infrequent!!

In other words jon Corzine, FIRE THE SHIT OUT OF ME! as much as I likes money and material things....brown liquor is a material right? I do not want to be part of a fucking failing system, stop pretending these people's jobs are important and FIRE THEM!!....obviously I know nothing of economics and having people working and making money is probably better for the economy than cutting my job and then allowing me to collect unemployment, BUT COME ON FOLKS I'M TRYING TO WRITE A BLOG HERE, I need some unfounded opinion and a reason to rant, how else can I please the Three, COUNT EM THREE FOLLOWERS!!!

my little office is just a microcosm for this entire state and everybody knows it, I'm not saying anything knew, but I did not know the extent of it until I was in the thick of it!

I'm typing about this today, because we have Lincoln's Birthday off on Thursday and we have president's day off on monday so, my boss was encouraging everybody not to come and take a sick or vacation day on Friday so we all have five day weekends. Mind you this is awesome and I immediately did it (although I wasn't at first, cause fridays are fun cause not many students are there and this one was going to be easy cause no teachers were going to be there I would literally be watching TV all day, but my boss convinced me that there was no reason for only me to come in) but it was just so funny to have your boss encouraging nobody to come in and all that!!!

On another note, McDonalds needs to kick up their menu, I havent eaten there in Mad Months, but if they introduced something new and ridiculous like Burger King does every so often I would go their with bells on, FAT PIMPLY DISCOLORED BALLS ON...I MEAN BELLS!!! anyway McDonald's I don't know if you are trying to be like back to basics or stay original so you could be playing that game, BUT STEP IT UP!!! and don't throw some shit on a burger and tell me its new! I want all new things like soup in a breadbowl....or like a cheese soup in a groundbeefbowl, or chicken nugget nachos, or something gross an inappropriately deep-fried!!! SNACK WRAPS!!! REALLY!!!


THANKS A LOT MORGAN SPURLOCK!!!! you and your fucking cunt girlfriend and vegetarian your white asses all the way back to your brooklyn brownstone!!!


Kyle said...

Well if any in the state knew how to work a computer, you'd be in trouble...but since this blog is buried in a black hole in the corner of the internet, you'll probably be writing about your beloved job as a double-click tutor for years to come. In the meantime, call in sick and leave that shit OPEN.

Kaldog said...

It fucking is all Morgan Spurlock's fault. Fuck him for that shit seriously. Remember when Mcdonalds had dark meat mcnuggets and they'd spit in your diet coke if your kid asked for apple slices? I'm gonna start handing out poisoned sweet tarts next Halloween. WHERE'S YOUR CHILDHOOD OBESITY EPIDEMIC NOW FUCKFACE? Anyway, spot on stuff brah.

Peter said...

hey i read your blog too. so thats three followers, one RSS feeder.

also the shamrock shake will be back next month get excited.

WilburBellson said...

I want to take a bath in shamrock shakes.

also, up until like three years ago my dad thought that hovering the arow over something you wanted to click on was enough. Like, you didn't have to click if you hovered. The point it, my dad has the same mental capacity as an inmate.

ps: 5 day rager?

stephanie said...

So, are they hiring?

dodobird said...

and McDonalds no longer has caramel sauce for their ice cream! DISGUSTING

LumbeerJohn said...

I remember the good old days when McD's used Styrofoam. That was the shit. Eat. Smash. Trash. Grow up. Birthday Party. Cakes. Too Old. Work.